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Paul Dyer was always able to hold off his boss's invitations to party by employing that arms-length response: "We'll have to do that sometime," he'd say.
But when his boss, in his 30s, invited Mr. Dyer, 24 years old, to be friends on the social-networking sites MySpace and Facebook, dodging wasn't so easy. On the one hand, accepting a person's request to be friends online grants them access to the kind of intimacy never meant for office consumption, such as recent photos of keggers and jibes from friends. ("Still wearing that lampshade?")
But declining a "friend" request from a colleague or a boss is a slight. So, Mr. Dyer accepted the invitation, then removed any inappropriate or incriminating photos of himself -- "I'd rather speak vaguely about them," he says -- and accepted the boss's invitation.
Mr. Dyer, it turns out, wasn't the one who had to be embarrassed. His boss had photos of himself attempting to imbibe two drinks at once, ostensibly, Mr. Dyer ventures, to send the message: "I'm a crazy, young party guy." The boss also wore a denim suit ("I'd never seen anything like it," Mr. Dyer says) and posed in a photo flashing a hip-hop backhand peace sign.
It was painful to watch. "I hurt for him," says Mr. Dyer.
Like email and "buddy lists" before them, social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace provide a definition of the word "friend" so expansive that it includes perfect strangers. Yet, strangers are the easy part. It can be a lot creepier to interact intimately with someone you sort of know than someone you don't know at all.
"Nothing changes when a stranger invites you to be a friend," says Nina Singh, a market-research consultant. But when one of her clients "friended" her, she saw a semierotic photo of him topless, posed and softly lit. "When you see your client's pubic bone, something has changed."
Victor Sanchez, 54, a senior development director, was once invited to join a site and was surprised to see a photograph of a younger colleague's seahorse tattoo. "Sometimes it's good to learn things about a colleague much later -- or never at all," he says.
These networking sites assist existing social relationships, letting people easily plan events, share pictures and keep up-to-date with far-flung friends. Once they penetrate the office, however, such sites can create awkward moments, particularly with colleagues who commit the social felony of attempted hipness. Dare I say, "Whatup, homey?"
When it comes to the boss, there is a real dilemma. You're caught between a career-limiting rejection of virtual friendship or a career-limiting access to photos of yourself glassy-eyed at a party. "All these social relationships -- apples and oranges -- are getting crammed into one category of friends," says Tom Boellstorff, associate professor of anthropology at the University of California, Irvine, who is writing a book on the virtual community Second Life.
After one senior marketing coordinator at a law firm was invited by one of the lawyers to be his friend, she felt compelled to accept the invitation, even though she had no intention of socializing with him outside the office. He remarked once after an office meeting that he noticed she had a boyfriend, as listed on her online profile.
"It was strange," she says. "I was like, 'Why are you on Facebook?'"
Once "friended" by a colleague, people feel compelled to employ privacy features -- which itself can be a snub -- or to sanitize their online profiles -- which is akin to hiding something under the bed. The same marketing coordinator removed college pictures of herself doing a keg stand -- a handstand on top of a beer keg for a direct mouth-to-tap connection.
Prospective employers also seem to have no compunction conducting searches on job applicants before they call them in for interviews. "We'll Google them and I know that we've done MySpace searches," says attorney Caroline Kert of prospective hires.
She's mostly looking for slams against a former employer or exposed proprietary information. She says she'd never hold against applicants something like, say, a photo of them wearing a fur bikini. Good thing. Ms. Kert, a regular at the Burning Man Festival, has pictures of herself sporting just that on MySpace.
J.D. Lloyd, a law student working at a firm, isn't taking any chances. At 6-foot-2 and 250 pounds, he removed a photo of himself in a Florida Marlins baseball jersey that was a mere "youth large." "It was tight," he says. "There may or may not have been midriff in some of those pictures."
It used to be that employees were told to keep their personal lives out of work. Now, some bosses beg for it. Data analyst Valerie Jewett, 23, accepted a boss as a friend even though she likes to keep her personal and professional lives separate.
He's a nice guy, she says, but his late-30s ungrooviness was evident when he wrote a message to her on the "wall" on her homepage. The message made her roll her eyes. "What a ko-wink-i-dink to find y'all on here! Yeehaw!!"
Copyrighted, Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All rights reserved
At some point in our careers, most of us are forced to work with someone whose people skills can only be described as atrocious. Sometimes our companies wisely get rid of these people, but they are like weeds. Pluck one, and within seconds another will sprout up in its place. The dread that comes with having to regularly interact with someone who is routinely negative, argumentative, stressed out, or mean can make your job a wholly unpleasant experience -- if you let it.
Your first instinct might be to go out of your way to avoid working with Mr. (or Ms.) Difficult, and if you can pull it off, more power to you. Often, though, this is not an option, and whether Mr. Difficult is your boss, a colleague, or a senior executive, you must prepare for each meeting with him like you are going into battle. Swallow your apprehension. Remind yourself that no one has the power to control how you feel and suit up your armor so that nothing he says or does wounds you deeply. Take a deep breath and walk calmly into Mr. Difficult's office. Speak to him in a controlled, cheerful, and reasonable tone. Get the information you need and get out. Negativity and stress can be highly contagious, so don't allow yourself to get sucked in.
Mr. Difficult's arrows can be easier to deflect when he's an equal opportunity shooter. You might even joke about him with your other colleagues: "Oh, you're working with Mr. Difficult on that? I'm so sorry. I hear a bunch of people are getting a hitman if you want to contribute." It's easy to become demoralized, however, when Mr. Difficult saves his best poison just for you. One of my early bosses, for example, couldn't stand me. She was sweet as apple pie to the rest of our colleagues, and to the best of my knowledge, I didn't do anything specific to incur her wrath. Inexplicably, though, whenever I came around she turned into the wicked witch of the west.
Your best bet in this type of scenario is to sit down with your Mr. Difficult and have a heart to heart. Tell him how you are feeling, assume that he doesn't mean to act like the devil incarnate, and give him the benefit of the doubt. Solicit his feedback regarding how the two of you can improve the relationship and then give him a chance to do right by you. If this doesn't work and he continues to regularly use you as target practice, remove yourself from the situation. No job is worth your self-esteem.
One caveat to all this: Human beings operate with such different styles that it's impossible for us to get along with all of our colleagues all of the time. You could be the most agreeable person on earth, but I guarantee that someone at work will find a reason not to like you. Maybe she isn't blatantly obvious or malicious like Mr. Difficult, but you can feel her negativity just the same. She might walk right past your desk without saying good morning and probably doesn't engage in friendly conversation with you the way she does with other people in the office.
For those of us with a sensitive streak, this type of behavior can be hurtful too. What did you do to her anyway? Why won't she give you a fair shot? As natural as it is to fixate on the situation, if it's not affecting your daily working life or your career path, refuse to take it personally and go about your business. Focus on your reasons for being at work and save your energy for the people in the office who deserve it.
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Alexandra Levit worked for a Fortune 500 software company and an international public relations firm before starting Inspiration @Work, an independent career consulting business. She's the author of They Don't Teach Corporate in College: A Twenty-Something's Guide to the Business World (Career Press 2004)
Author Alexandra Levit
Capessa
These days, it seems happy hour takes place between 9 and 5. Many singles spend more waking time at work than at home, so the likelihood of office attraction is high. You know what I'm talking about -- conveniently making copies at the same time, emailing back and forth, and playing eye-tag all day long. If you're imagining the boardroom as a bedroom, take a second to notice the red flags -- and I don't mean on your minesweeper game. While pining away at your desk, I have some helpful ways to crush with caution on the clock!
Hold your horses! Before scooping up your co-worker and riding into the sunset, you'd better make sure the coast is clear. Check to see if your company has any policies on inter-office dating you should be aware of. This way, you can preview the consequences -- if any -- and avoid that little pink slip.
If romance is in the air, someone is bound to smell it... Hiding your relationship at work might be kind of fun -- even playfully scandalous! -- but take a moment to question the real reason behind the secrecy. If you're not comfortable going public, consider whether or not you should be involved in the first place.
Between a desk and a hard place... Sneaking kisses by the snack machine seems harmless enough, but I doubt people will have much of an appetite when they catch you there. Be considerate of your co-workers by saving affection for the sidewalk. A personal attraction can dent your professionalism, and also pose a distraction for those around you. Keep interactions clean until the suit comes off -- and I mean that literally.
You can't always be a "yes" man... Be especially careful if you are a superior crushing on a subordinate. Things can get tricky, because your employee may feel too pressured not to say "no" -- and then a "yes" just doesn't seem genuine! Plus, both your reputations are suddenly at stake. Before taking the risk, you'd better have another job interview lined up -- just in case things work out well!
If dating doesn't work, keep in mind that you're still in a professional relationship -- and 8 hours a day can feel a lot longer when it's spent avoiding each other. So while an office affair might succeed, it's often more trouble than it's worth. But as you and I know, sometimes we just can't help ourselves. Yahoo!
When you're on a romantic dinner date, you try to avoid "mood killers" -- talking with a mouth full of food, cursing an ex-lover, or complaining about a foot ailment. During a job interview, you have to avoid similar spoilers if you want to make a good impression.
Here are 10 of the most common "advantage killers" and how you can steer clear of them during your next job interview.
1. Not knowing your aim. Too often candidates think their purpose in an interview is simply to ask for a job. Your goals are to demonstrate how you are a good fit for the organization, and to assess whether the job is really right for you.
2. Being too needy. Neediness is probably the No. 1 advantage-killer in an interview. Remind yourself before walking in the door: you do not need this job. You do need food, you do need air, and you do need water. Keep things in perspective.
3. Lousy nonverbal communication. This is about demonstrating confidence. Your first impression makes the difference. When you enter the interview room, stand up straight, make eye contact, and offer a strong handshake with your interviewer. If necessary, jot their name on your notepad as soon as you seat yourself. Do the same for any other individual you are meeting with.
4. Compromising your position. You should always participate in the interview as an equal, not a subordinate, of the person conducting the interview. Often this is a subtle matter of self-perception, so remind yourself before the interview.
5. Falling into the answers-only rut. An interview is a conversation. Don't just answer their questions. That's why you've prepared stories to highlight your accomplishments, which will be your moments to shine. When you do answer any questions, make sure that you answer immediately and follow up with a question of your own, if at all possible.
6. Rambling. Telling your interviewer more than they need to know could be fatal. Your stories should be 60 to 90 seconds long and they should have a relevant point. Focus, focus, focus. Stick with your rehearsed stories, your research, and the questions you need to ask. Don't fill up the silence with unnecessary talk.
7. Being overly familiar. A good interviewer will be skilled enough to put you at ease within the first 10 minutes of the interview. That doesn't mean that they have become your best friend. Don't let your guard down. You're there to interview them and get answers to your questions. Treat this from start to finish as the professional business meeting that it is.
8. Making incorrect assumptions. Points are not deducted at the interview for asking questions when you don't understand something. Don't guess at what your interviewer means. Effective interviewing is all about collecting information in real time, taking good notes, and responding only to the actual facts you've collected. If you find yourself making assumptions or guessing about something that was said, stop and ask for clarification before you answer.
9. Getting emotional. At times the interviewer may hit a nerve or consciously try to provoke you into an "outburst." Don't fall for it. Clear your mind of any fears or expectations, so you can maintain a calm, open-minded perspective at all times. When emotions enter into an interview, failure follows.
10. Not asking specific questions. You want to find out more about what this job is really about and whether you want it. Arrive with a list of several prepared questions about the company, the position, and the people who work there. Ask questions that begin with "what," "how," and "why." Avoid simple yes/no questions. Get your interviewer talking as much as possible, then take notes. Most interviewers are unimpressed by someone who has no questions.
By Joe Turner Yahoo!
To many job seekers, "stress" is synonymous with "job interview."
Job seekers stress over landing an interview. Then they stress over preparing for it. And then they stress over what to wear, what to say, if the interviewer will like them and more.
But the worst stress of all often occurs during the interview. This is the stress that can cause you to blow it. It can make you freeze, panic, chatter aimlessly, lose your train of thought or perspire profusely.
So how can job seekers keep cool when it counts? Relax. A few simple
techniques can help calm frayed nerves and sooth interview jitters.
Early Warning
Timing is everything: Don't cause yourself undue stress before a big interview.
Arrive about 10 minutes before the interview is scheduled to begin.
If you arrive too early, you'll sit and wait and worry. And if you arrive too late, you may find yourself racing in the door, your heart already pounding from a last-minute dash.
A ten-minute, pre-interview break will give you an opportunity to catch your breath and acclimate to your surroundings. It's enough time, but not too much time.
Picture This
You can make your dream a reality. Use your imagination to stay calm during a job interview.
Visualization is a relaxation technique in which you create a mental image of a stressful or challenging situation. Then you imagine yourself succeeding in the situation. By doing so, you're mentally preparing to handle the event in real life.
You can practice visualization in the days, hours or even minutes before an interview. Simply close your eyes and breathe deeply. Picture yourself greeting the interviewer confidently and answering tough questions with ease.
Practice succeeding in your imagination, and soon you'll be doing it in reality.
Relax
A relaxed job candidate is a confident job candidate.
Show the interviewer that you're calm, composed and in command during an interview. He's likely to assume that you'll be rock-solid on the job too.
Use these tips to stay relaxed during an interview:
Breathing deeply and slowly (and quietly, of course).
Sit up straight and don't cross your legs or arms.
Speak slowly and pause for breath often.
Keeps your hands and jaw relaxed; no clenching.
Smile -- it really is contagious!
Pause, Don't Panic
In every interview, there comes a moment that doesn't go according to plan. There's an awkward silence. You stumble over your words. You flub a tough question.
Don't panic. Now's the time to put your relaxation skills into overdrive.
It's much easier to control fear and panic as it starts to build than to calm yourself down once they've begun to spiral out of control.
When you feel yourself starting to panic and lose focus, pause. Tell yourself silently that you can do this. Take a deep breath. Refocus. And then resume interviewing.
A quick ten-second pause can be all you need to regain your composure and get back in control. And the interviewer likely won't even notice.
Yahoo HotJobs!
One of the easiest ways to build confidence before a job interview is to prepare answers to questions you might be asked. Whether you're applying for a position as a web programmer, accountant, or legal secretary, interviewers often use some general questions to assess candidates, so you'll increase your chances for success if you prepare for them in advance.
Six common questions are listed below, along with insights from several recruitment professionals about how to answer. As part of your interview preparation, take the time to formulate answers to each question, focusing on specific tasks and accomplishments.
"What are your strengths and weaknesses?"
This is one of the most well-known interview questions, and interviewers often ask it indirectly, as in, "What did your most recent boss suggest as areas for improvement in your last performance review?"
Lindsay Olson, founder of Paradigm Staffing Solutions, a firm specializing in hiring public relations professionals, suggests tailoring your "strengths" answer to skills that will benefit the prospective employer. Though you may have a knack for building gingerbread houses, it might be of little value for the job at hand.
When it comes to weaknesses, or areas of growth, Olson recommends building on your answer to include "how you have improved, and specifics on what you have done to improve yourself in those areas."
"Why did you leave your last position?"
"Interviewers will always want to know your reasoning behind leaving a company ? particularly short stints," says Olson. "Be prepared to tell the truth, without speaking negatively about past employment."
"Can you describe a previous work situation in which you ... ?"
This question comes in many forms, but what the interviewer is looking for is your behavior on the job. Your answer could focus on resolving a crisis, overcoming a negotiation deadlock, handling a problem coworker, or juggling multiple tasks on a project.
The theory behind this type of question is that past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, according to Yves Lermusi, CEO of Checkster, a company that offers career and talent checkup tools. "The key to responding well is preparing real job examples, describing your behavior in specific situations that demonstrate important skills that the job requires."
"What is your ideal work environment?"
This question is not about whether you prefer a cubicle or an office, so think broadly to include ideas about supervision, management styles, and your workday routine.
Bob Hancock, senior recruiter for video game publisher Electronic Arts, says that he uses this question with candidates because it can give "a sense of their work habits, how flexible they are with their schedules, and how creative they are."
"How do you handle mistakes?"
The best strategy for this general question is to focus on one or two specific examples in the past and, if possible, highlight resolutions or actions that might have relevance to the job you're interviewing for.
"Employers want to know they're hiring someone with the maturity to accept responsibility and the wherewithal to remedy their own mistakes," says Debra Davenport, a master professional mentor and columnist for the Business Journal in Phoenix.
"What is your most notable accomplishment?"
Paradigm Staffing's Olson suggests that candidates think of three or four accomplishments and quantify what their actions meant in terms of increasing revenues, saving resources, or improving resources.
"Being able to quantify your achievements in your career will launch you ahead of the rest," she says, "and demonstrate your ability to do the same as a future employee."
By Tom Musbach, Yahoo!
Starting a new job can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and even scary. Unfortunately, it can also be disappointing. Perhaps you're being asked to work too many hours. Maybe you're not receiving any training. Or, worse yet, the job you accepted doesn't look anything like the job you're actually doing.
As a new hire, what should you do when a new job isn't what you thought it would be? Use these tips to navigate the rough waters in your first weeks
1. Don't panic!
If things aren't going at all as you'd planned in your first few days or weeks in a new position, your instinct may be to hit the panic button and quit or begin a covert job search. Resist the urge to make a dramatic decision or rush to judgment. Rather, analyze what's making you feel like you've been duped. Create a document you can refer to, listing out what you were told or had expected versus what the reality of your day-to-day at a company is.
2. Speak with your supervisor.
Talent retention is an issue these days, and your manager likely doesn't want to be short-staffed. Debbi Titlebaum, the human resources director for Zingy, Inc., a mobile media company, advises opening a dialogue with a manager. She says, "Go to your boss and say, 'I've only been here for a few weeks and it's not what I was expecting. Can we talk about what my responsibilities are and how we can change them to include more of what we agreed upon?'"
If your boss is unable or unwilling to help you, you should then seek advice from human resources.
3. HR is there to help.
No one understands how difficult it is to find talented employees better than a human resources professional -- which gives you a valuable and knowledgeable ally in your plight. Titlebaum, who has worked in human resources for more than 12 years, advises, "If a job isn't exactly what you expected there can be a lot of valid reasons. If you communicate your dissatisfaction to your manager and to HR, there's probably a way to make it work."
Are long hours conflicting with child care? Ask about flex time. If you need more training, find out how you can get that. Is a position less glamorous than you thought? Ask for some additional, more compelling responsibilities.
If the position itself remains a bust despite everyone's best efforts, you may still have a future at the company. "If an employer is dealing with a good employee, they are going to want to hold onto her. Depending on the size of the company, they may be able to use her in another capacity," notes Titlebaum.
4. Move on to another opportunity.
Sometimes when a job isn't what you thought it would be, leaving may be your only option. If this is true, find another job first to avoid a gap on your resume. Also, treat your employer with respect and professional courtesy (even if you weren't treated that way) when leaving, so you don't burn any bridges.
To avoid a similar situation in the future, Titlebaum suggests that you always request a comprehensive job description before accepting an offer. "A written job description ensures that you and your supervisor know what your responsibilities will be," she says. And, be sure to ask your future manager to describe a typical workday and work week so that you have a better understanding of what your daily professional life will be like.
Caroline Levchuck, Yahoo!
Even if you really enjoy your job, it's still possible to battle boredom as you work your way toward the boardroom. You may not be able to make big changes -- or change your job -- but you can make small adjustments to your routine that can make every day seem, well, a little less routine.
1. Switch Your Seat
Change your outlook at the office by changing your office -- literally. Ask your supervisor to help you find a new desk, office, or cube to call home. Even switching desks with a neighboring coworker can offer a fresh perspective.
If it's not possible to change your location, see if you can change how your desk is oriented. A new perspective can be just as refreshing as a new location.
2. Change Your Commute
Start and end your day in a different way by making changes to your commute. Consider a new mode of transportation, if it's possible. Take a subway. Ride a bike on sunny days. Carpool with a coworker. Use a new route to get to your job. You needn't change your commute permanently -- just long enough to help you escape the doldrums.
3. Find a New Way to Work
Shake things up at the office by changing how things get done.
Sick of attending that long-standing Monday morning meeting? Try to rally your boss to change it to the afternoon.
If you find yourself feeling most bored in the afternoons, try to arrange to do your favorite tasks then and tackle less desirable projects in the mornings.
If you usually communicate with coworkers via email and instant messaging, start dealing with people face to face. Increased interaction with coworkers may help improve your mood.
4. Get and Set a Goal
If you're not working toward something, it's no wonder that work has become boring. Identify a goal and set an "achieve by" date for it.
Your goal needn't be lofty as long as you have sufficient enthusiasm for it. Perhaps you want to tackle a new project. Maybe you'd like to pursue a promotion. Or you may even set a goal of finding a new job altogether. Whatever it is, actively moving toward an objective will make work much more interesting
Caroline Levchuck, Yahoo!
By Robyn Tellefsen, ClassesUSA
The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) has identified a number of exciting professions expected to experience above-average growth over the next decade. Most of these positions fall within the top 25 percent of earnings for workers overall, and most require a bachelor's degree or higher. Are any of these growing careers right for you?
A Career in Caring
According to the BLS, registered nurses (RNs) constitute the largest health care occupation; they were responsible for about 2.4 million jobs in 2004. RNs need at least an associate degree, while short-term or on-the-job training is generally necessary for nurse's aides.
The American Nurses Association reports that in 2006, staff nurses earned an average of $47,200. At the high end of the salary scale, advanced practice nurses averaged $69,600.
The Education Explosion
With about 1 in 4 Americans enrolled in an education institution, education services is the second largest industry in the country, accounting for about 13 million jobs. Most teaching positions require at least a bachelor's degree, and many require a master's or doctoral degree.
Secondary school teachers are expected to increase in numbers by up to 17 percent by 2014. Salaries are rising as well; the American Federation of Teachers estimates the average salary of all public elementary and secondary school teachers in the 2003-2004 school year was $46,597. Postsecondary teaching positions are expected to grow 27 percent or more by 2014; in 2004, postsecondary teachers had median annual earnings of $51,800.
Accounting for Growth
With projected growth in accountant positions between 18 and 26 percent by 2014, it's no surprise that the American Institute of CPAs cites accounting graduates are up 19 percent since 2000.
And accountants are well compensated. According to a salary survey conducted by the National Association of Colleges and Employers, bachelor's degree candidates in accounting received starting offers averaging $43,269 in 2005; master's degree candidates in accounting were initially offered $46,251.
The Rebound of Information Technology
The technology industry continues to grow, as most fields are in need of skilled information technology (IT) workers. "The New York Times cites a labor department listing of the 15 fastest-growing jobs for the decade, and a total of 10 are in IT," says Dr. Susan Merritt, dean of the School of Computer Science and Information Systems at Pace University (New York, NY). These include computer systems analysts, software engineering, application development, network design, and computer support.
Median annual earnings of computer systems analysts were $66,460 in 2004, and the highest 10 percent earned more than $99,180.
Corporate Leaders of Tomorrow
It is natural for an aspiring professional to want to be at the head of the boardroom, and not only because these positions are projected to increase up to 17 percent through 2014. Executives at the top of their field are among the highest-paid workers, according to the BLS Occupational Outlook Handbook.
An MBA can take you to the top of the corporate ladder, which involves long hours, extensive travel, and intense pressure. However, salaries are often commensurate with such hard work, experience, and education attainment.
Copyright 2007 ClassesUSA.com
